Dealing with Grief Through Your Yoga Practice

Posted January 12, 2012 @ 5:00 PM | by Marianne Wells

A week or so ago, I was on the phone with a friend. It was a short talk, nothing of any real importance. I couldn’t even tell you what we were talking about. But at the end of our conversation, he told me to take care of myself, and I acknowledged this kind sentiment with what’s now become an almost canned response…

“I am.”

But I wasn’t, not really.

Back in November, I lost my son Jimmy. He’s my youngest, my baby — even though he was well into being his own man. 

If you’ve ever suffered a loss, especially one of a son or daughter, you already know how crippling this experience can be. The emotional and physical toll grief takes on the body can make you feel as if you won’t survive it. Each thought of your loved one brings you so much pain and suffering that you begin to withdraw, almost retreating from the reality of this newfound “normal.” You lose sleep, no longer want to eat and, inevitably, stop taking care of yourself — or at least this is where I ended up.

I mention this not seeking sympathy or condolences, but more so to talk about how important your practice can be at a time of loss. Something I myself needed to learn, or relearn, at this devastating time in my life.

No one can argue that suffering the loss of a loved one is probably one of the most challenging things you will ever face. Life, however, does go on after loss. Yoga can teach you that.

You see, yoga lets you delve into your grief, which may sound counterintuitive. But your practice brings you into your pain. It doesn’t allow you to flee from it, as most people would probably like. It makes you focus on the physical and, not to mention, emotional experience of your grief.

As you practice, you are in the present moment, grounding your body through the postures, balancing your mind through the breath and centering yourself through meditation. You’re placing yourself in the here and now, where your grief resides. Yoga allows you to let grief be, to let it happen. It stops you from repressing all those emotions and feelings you’d rather not deal with, helping you incorporate them into your life. Remember, nothing can be done to change loss, but you can do something about your perception of it.

Along with the mere practice of yoga, its teachings tell us of something known as Vairagya, or nonattachment. Our attachment to that which we can see, touch or feel grounds us in our grief. We cling to what’s lost instead of releasing it, forgetting that everything — as hard as it is to accept — must end. We each have an arc, and the one that you’ve lost has come to the end of his.

While you deal with your loss, consider going deeper into your practice. Find some solace in the asanas and pranayamas. Use them to bring yourself closer to your pain and help you embrace it. On the other end of it, you will be free. 

Category: Inspired Philosophy
Tags: Yoga philosophy, Marianne Wells, dealing with grief through yoga