What comes to mind when you hear the word LOVE?
Is it chocolates and flowers? Perhaps a red, velvety Valentine’s Day card? Or maybe even the ever-popular pics of hands in the shape of a heart that seem to be gracing everyone’s Facebook photo albums these days? It’s no secret that LOVE has a clever way of morphing into whatever we deem fashionable in popular culture. Due to this constant morphism, it’s easy to forget what it’s actually all about.
Our perceptions of love make it really easy for us to blur the essence of what it really is. Every day we throw around the concept of love- from the off the cuff “love ya,” to the heart emojis we send with every text. Yet, these are such trivial ways of expressing true love, and they do very little to prove what love is. When we use such menial examples of “love” we grow to expect trivial displays of affection, and it begins to become conditional. So, what happens when it becomes conditional?
We start to fizzle. Most of us can relate, relationships that once burned bright fizzled out faster than we expected. It may have been a romantic partner, a family member, or a friendship- gone unappreciated. That conditional love is usually a bi product of something much deeper. Typically, it’s because we mask our disappointment with ourselves as a disappointment with our relationships. It’s ESSENTIAL for us to fully love ourselves before we are able to properly love someone else.
I call this loving on purpose. Purposeful love is ensuring that you are giving yourself unconditional acceptance and forgiveness, ensuring that you are whole before you enter into a relationship with someone else. It’s no secret that relationships take two people, but it will never be successful unless there are first two positive individuals. Knowing that you are whole and complete allows you to share your energy with someone in a deeper way. Not only will the love be brighter, but it will be easier and last longer when you love on purpose.
Tips to finding & loving yourself:
- Dedicate personal time each day to slow down, relax and find your center
- Practice active breathing to cleanse your mind & body, focus your inhales & exhales
- Don’t be quick to jump to judgement or conclusions
- Stop criticizing yourself
- Practice loving your imperfections
Find your Heart Center and unite with your Self. Embrace your imperfections and the imperfections of those around you. And remember…
It’s okay to raise your heart-shaped hands skyward, as we’ve all been known to do, but don’t forget the real message behind the motion. We must also take that heart out of the sky and place it in our hands. Do good deeds. Give of our talents. Acknowledge the love we receive. We must try to reshape that heart into something we hold, instead of something we see through.
“We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli